Waiting for the End
by ForeverSmiling
Summary: **Sequel to The Reason**Jane Watson thought her troubles were over, then she discovered something that sent her world crashing down.  Please read The Reason before reading this.
1. Journal Entry 1

**This is the sequel to my previous story The Reason, which involved a female John. You will have to read my previous story in order to understand this one. Just as my last story, the journal entry chapters will not be very long. They are used to start the story or move them along. Enjoy and please review. :)**

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><p><em>March 5<em>_th__, 2012_

This can't be happening to me. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse. The flashbacks and nightmares were bad enough as it is, they're like the screams of a riot and they won't go away. Sherlock has been helpful; every time I have a flashback he kneels down on the floor with me and gets me to calm down. I am surprised he puts up with me; this happens at least three times a week. I feel like I am at the mercy of my fear and there is nothing I can do to fix it.

I should have seen this coming; ever since Sherlock got out of the hospital I noticed something different about myself. I guess I just didn't want to believe it. Now there is nothing I can do, it's out of my control. These thoughts won't leave my head and it's destroying me. I've tried as hard as I could to erase the past, but it won't go away. I even thought I could just accept it, but it still haunts me. I wish I could just trade my life with someone else. Anyone else would be better than this.

I can't even begin to think what I am going to do about this, or how I am going to tell Sherlock. After everything that happened, there was never a worse moment than sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing and gripping the pregnancy test. My whole future flashed before my eyes after I saw the results. Even though I am not in love with Sherlock, I would much prefer for this child to be his. Will Sherlock think any less of me? What will happen when everyone else finds out? I can't hide this for much longer; it will get pretty obvious sooner or later. I just have to handle this like I handled everything else, I'll tell him tomorrow. I can't imagine his reaction, so I have to prepare myself for anything.

Goodbye for now,

Jane H. Watson


	2. Wishing I Had Strength

_March 6__th__, 2012_

I feel like throwing up, although I don't know whether or not that it from nervousness or morning sickness. I exit the bathroom slowly while trying not to make myself even dizzier. Sherlock is sitting on the sofa talking on his mobile. From the sound of it, he is talking to Lestrade. I wait patiently until he hangs up.

"Sherlock, I have to tell you something." He looks up at me with those innocent eyes of his. I am truly surprised he doesn't already know what's going on.

"Go ahead, I'm all ears." I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I am standing reasonably close to the sofa where Sherlock is sitting, yet it is getting harder and harder to see him. I don't know what's going on, but I can hear Sherlock's muffled scream. Is someone in the flat?

I wake up on the sofa with Sherlock looking down at me. There is a warm cloth on my forehead. I want to move, but I feel so weak.

"What happened? Is there someone here?"

"No, you fainted and I caught you. I was just so shocked I screamed. Mrs. Hudson came running up and I had her get you a hot towel." Just as he finished, Mrs. Hudson came running into the flat with a batch of freshly brewed tea.

"Try to sit up dear; this will be good for your headache."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hudson. Sherlock, before I fainted I was going to tell you something."

"Don't say anything right now; just try to regain your strength. We can talk later." I don't have enough energy to argue. Besides, the longer I prolong this, the better. Mrs. Hudson stayed for a few more minutes, but left after we assured her I was fine.

Sherlock never left my side, even when I regained my strength. It only took about 45 minutes until I was able to stand. The first thing I did was go to the bathroom and check to see if the baby was okay. As far as I can tell, it's fine. Part of me doesn't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. When I exited the bathroom, Sherlock was standing right outside the door.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Making sure you're okay and that you don't faint again." I smile and laugh slightly.

"Thank you, but I'm fine." I walk past him to sit back down when he speaks up again.

"How's the baby?" I stop dead in my tracks; I can feel myself turning white as a ghost. I turn around, but I don't even try to deny it.

"Should I even ask how you know?" He simply smiled calmly.

"For starters, you're starting to show. The pregnancy test in the trash can didn't help either." I feel like an idiot, but I'm glad he knows.

What happened next was inevitable. I walked over to the sofa to sit down and almost immediately began to break down. Sherlock walks over to me and sits directly next to me; he wraps his arm around my shoulder. All of this seems awfully familiar.

"What am I going to do?"

"I'm not going to bother telling you what the options are, because you know them already."

"I could never abort; I can't deal with killing a child. That's not an option."

"I don't know if I should ask this, but are you sure it's his?" I'm not even mad he asked that, but I think it's quite obvious.

"Believe me, I'm sure. I only have one other option, so I will have to phone the adoption agency soon." He doesn't speak again until I calm down. I appreciate this; I am not one for conversation while I am upset.

"So, do we go to a doctor?"

"No, not until I'm 10 weeks in. Will you come with me?" He looks at me with a look of disbelief that I would say such a thing.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'll come with you! I wouldn't dream of letting you go by yourself."

"Thank you, Sherlock." We both stayed silent for a few minutes before I speak up again. "So, you were talking to Lestrade before?"

"Oh, yes, he wanted me to investigate a murder. I actually said I would be there in a few minutes, I completely forgot." He gets up to leave and I stand up after him.

"I'll go with you." He turns around.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"They'll be wondering why I'm not there, as long as they can't tell by looking at me, I'll be fine." It took a few minutes more of arguing, but he eventually agreed and we head out for the crime scene.

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><p><strong>Now for the million dollar question: Should Moriarty be in the story?<strong>

**Just a warning, the next chapter about the murder is going to be a bit gruesome due to the content of the murder. I'm going to try not to be too graphic, but just in case, I am just warning you.  
><strong>


	3. Trying to Forget

The crime scene was a flat about half an hour away from Baker Street. When we arrive to the flat, Lestrade is waiting outside looking impatient.

"It's about time you two showed up! We've been waiting for over an hour!" Sherlock looked right past him while answering.

"Terribly sorry Lestrade, but we had business to attend to. How's the crime scene?" Lestrade took a deep breath before answering.

"It's heavy. You'll know what happened as soon as you see her. It took me ages to convince the team not to interfere with the body, so make it quick."

I made sure to grab a sweater on my way out of the flat and I make sure that it is covering my stomach well before I enter the building. Besides that, the only thing I don't like about going with Sherlock on his cases is interacting with Sally. We've never gotten along very well and I always dread seeing her. She glares at us as we enter the room.

"I see you've dressed down for the occasion." She says. Sherlock answers her before I have the chance to.

"Save it, Sally. Where's the body?"

"Go up the stairs, it's the first room on your left. Prepare yourselves." Neither of us knows what she is talking about until we go inside her room.

Not even Sherlock was prepared for what we saw. We enter the room to find a woman at least six months pregnant, her throat had been slit. She was lying on her back on the living room floor. By far the most disturbing thing about this was the large stab wound to her abdomen.

"This is dreadful!" That's the only thing I can manage to say. I gently touch my own abdomen.

I look over to Sherlock, but he has already begun to observe her. There is a noticeable difference in Sherlock's color. He has gotten much paler; I can tell he is just as disturbed as I was. Once he finishes, he leans back up and turns to me and Lestrade.

"Her throat was slit before she was stabbed. The intention was to kill the child, so he killed her, but stabbed her in the abdomen just to make sure. This is not a random act of violence; otherwise he would have left the child alone. She was killed elsewhere and dumped here. The killer was clever, because I see no DNA or any kind of indication of who did it."

I don't like it when Sherlock can't get a description of the killer, I feel like it makes him lose the respect of some of the officers present. I look around the room when I notice something in a dark corner. I make my way closer to it and almost faint when I see what it is.

"Sherlock…" He turns toward me and walks over. The look on his face is a combination of "I should have known" and "I know what this means". On the wall, scrawled in the woman's blood, was the letter M.

"Lestrade, come and look at this. I think you can guess who our killer is."

Lestrade put his head in his hands and told us he would do everything he can. I remember what happened during our second encounter at the pool.

"Wasn't he arrested?"

"You know him, Jane. He's got connections." Lestrade says. Sherlock suddenly steps in front of me.

"Jane needs protection." I look at him as if he has just sold me out. Luckily, Lestrade doesn't look like he is very suspicious.

"Won't you need protection too?"

"I can take care of myself, but I'm sure he hasn't forgotten about how Jane shot him. He'll never let her live that down."

"I'm sorry Sherlock, but until we know for sure that he is threatening her, there is nothing we can do."

I half understand, because he doesn't know what's going on right now. Even still, he knows the history between us and he has no reason not to suspect that he'll go after me. I pull Sherlock aside and ask if we can go back to the flat. He agrees reluctantly and Lestrade calls in the men to take the body away.

Once we arrive back at our flat, Sherlock takes my coat off and hangs it up. I zip off my sweater and hang it on the same rack.

"Have a seat, I'll start a fire." I'm glad he's being nice to me, but in all honesty it's making me a bit uncomfortable.

I sit down in one of the armchairs and he walks over to the closet. He returns with a small throw blanket and places it over my shoulders.

"Sherlock, you don't have to do this."

"Nonsense, I want to make you as comfortable as possible." I wanted to argue, but he was already in the kitchen. He comes back a few minutes later with a silver tray with a pot of tea and two teacups on it. He places it on the table in front of me and sits on the couch.

"Are you sure this is the appropriate scenery after having just returned from a crime scene?" I say with a smile. He simply shrugs.

"I just felt you needed a break from all the stress. You haven't had a panic attack in a few days, I'm proud." I bring my cup of tea closer to me and smile.

"I guess I'll take all the stress-free nights I can get. As for the panic attacks, don't jinx me."

"You've been doing well. You know I meant what I said earlier. I wouldn't let you go through this alone, I'll help you in any way I can." I appreciate this, but I don't want him to forget anything that has happened before.

"Sherlock, don't forget that all of this happened only about two months ago. You were using again." He puts his head down and nods. "You're still recovering and if you're serious about helping me, the last thing I need is to worry about you relapsing." He looks back up at me.

"You of all people should know that I'll never be fully recovered. Mycroft has been helping me and I'm trying as best as I can. I haven't touched anything since the day you confronted me." I nod and sigh.

"I'm just worried about what everyone will say when they see me like this."

"They don't matter, just ignore them."

"That's easy for you to say. I've developed PTSD and Social Anxiety." We stay silent for a few seconds.

I know he is just thinking of something to comfort me. I am very grateful to him; this is something I will never forget. He slowly gets up from the couch and kneels down in front of me at eye-level.

"We'll fix this, Moriarty isn't going to touch you, and we're going to go back to the way we were. I promise."


	4. It's Hard to Let You Go

_February 28__th__, 2012 – 10 weeks – Sherlock's POV_

I'm not going to bothering trying to understand what she's going through, so I'll just do my best to help her through it. She might not want to say it, but I can see what's going on. I can tell what she's thinking. She said she would call the adoption agency, but she hasn't yet. She is debating that possibility in her head; she is unsure whether or not she should keep it. I can tell she is stressed out and I don't blame her.

Today is the day of her first doctor's appointment. She called ahead of time to make sure I was allowed in the room and they said it was fine. If she does decide to keep it, I wonder if she will look upon that child like a mother or only see the face of Moriarty. I'm sitting on the sofa right now waiting for Jane to get out of the bathroom, and then we're going to leave. I can't help how I feel about her; I only hope I'm not pushing her away. She comes out of the bathroom with her newly purchased maternity clothes and looks at me.

"I'm ready when you are." I smile and get up off the sofa.

"Good, let's go then. We don't want to be late." We get a cab to the hospital and are directed to where we need to go.

The waiting area is filled with women with their husbands who are smiling, laughing, and planning their future. I look over to Jane next to me and find that she is also looking around at some of the mothers in here. Her expression never changes; she is doing a good job of hiding her emotions.

"Jane Watson." We both look toward the person who called her name. The nurse smiles and directs us to a room. Jane thanks her and lies down on the elevated cot.

The nurse leaves the room, saying she'll be right back. Jane closes her eyes for a moment and stares at the ceiling. I pull my chair closer to her.

"Are you nervous?" She turns her head to look at me.

"Not really. I know it's in there, so there's nothing I'll be surprised about."

The nurse comes back in and asks Jane to raise her shirt over her abdomen. The nurse is talking about what she is going to do and how we'll see the child on the screen, but I am barely paying attention. I don't know anything about medicine. The nurse starts to perform the ultrasound and the image appears on the screen. We both silently look at towards it. We still don't know whether or not we're happy about this.

"Okay, Dr. Watson. The baby is doing great; so far it looks like you're going to have a healthy child. Do you have any questions?" She simply shook her head. The nurse could tell she was uncomfortable, so she was as nice as she could be. "Good luck to both of you."

After she exits the room, we grab our stuff and leave the hospital. We are about to call for a cab when my phone rings. I look at it to see who is calling and I see that it's Lestrade.

"Hello?"

"Sherlock, come to Scotland Yard. I think there's something you should see."

"I'll be right there." I hang up and call a cab. Once we're inside the car, Jane speaks up.

"Did Lestrade say why he wanted us over there?"

"All he said was that we needed to see something. Do you want to wait outside once we get there?"

"No, they were going to find out sooner or later. It might as well be now."

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><p><strong>I thought I'd do a short chapter in Sherlock's POV so I can establish how he is responding to this. The next chapter will be back to Jane.<strong>


	5. Picking Up the Pieces

The ultrasound was just as I expected. I couldn't go in there and pretend I was happy about this, so I just had no attitude at all. It almost hurt to see so many mothers-to-be with their husbands, they all look so happy. They bringing their child into the world voluntarily and I envy them for that. They had a choice.

Anyway, Lestrade called Sherlock and said that we needed to see something. It probably has something to do with the murder from a few weeks ago. Oh boy, I can't wait. The only thing I am worried about right now is what people will think when they see me. I haven't grown that much yet, but it is noticeable. We pull up to Scotland Yard and get out of the cab. Sherlock looks at me before we go in.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with." I take a deep breath before following Sherlock inside.

I feel like things are going in slow motion. There is so much on my mind that I can barely hear anyone. I walk past Sally and her jaw drops when she sees me. Anderson gives me a dirty look and scoffs at me. Sherlock knocks on Lestrade's door and walks in. When he sees me, he does a double take and sits down at his desk.

"Okay, so we got this letter in the mail this morning. We checked it for DNA, but it's completely clean." Lestrade hands Sherlock a piece of paper. The message is typed and signed only with the letter M.

_Don't forget about me. See you soon, love." -M_

I lean back in my chair.

"I guess it's obvious he's talking about me." Lestrade looks at me.

"Jane, we'll do everything we can to protect you." Sherlock looks up and responds with his voice slightly raised.

"Where was this protection when I asked for it?"

"We had no reason to believe he was going to pursue her until now. We'll keep police outside your building at all times." I decide to say something.

"Don't." They both look at me in disbelief.

"What? Why not?"

"Do you really think that's going to stop him? I'm not going to put any of your men in danger; he is going to get to me one way or another. What's the point?" Neither of them knows what to say. Sherlock is the first to speak up.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'm sure. Don't bring any police to our flat, Lestrade. It's a waste of time." He was about to respond when Sally opened the door.

"Excuse me. Jane, can I talk to you outside?" I give her a strange look, but eventually I follow her to another room. Sally has given me grief ever since I started working with Sherlock. This better not be a ruse to get me in private to harass me. I am not in the mood for this right now.

"I know you're wondering why I wanted to talk to you." She starts.

"Well Sally, when you do nothing but insult me and Sherlock every time you see us, forgive me if I am suspicious of your intentions."

"I understand. I just wanted to ask you if you're alright."

"What are you talking about?"

"I asked Lestrade about the case with Moriarty a few weeks ago. All he would tell me was that something happened with you and that he was coming after you again."

"What's your point?"

"You're pregnant." I shift uncomfortably.

"Again, your point is?"

"Did something happen to you?" I can't believe her. I laugh and turn around to leave. Just as I reach the door, I turn back around.

"Sally, stop pretending that you care about what's going on. You have no idea of the situation I'm in right now."

"Yes I do. I'm asking because I want to make it up to you. Forget about Anderson, I'm speaking for myself. Just give me a minute to explain." I walk back over to her and ask to sit down; she agrees and sits down in front of me. She sighs before continuing. "When I was 21, I was raped at knifepoint by some guy who was following me home. I unlocked the door to my flat and he came up behind me and forced me inside. It lasted for three hours, he used protection, but he threatened to kill me if I told anyone. I was lucky he didn't kill me right there. I've never told anyone this."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"Because I didn't say anything at first, but when I saw you and Sherlock walking into Lestrade's office a few weeks ago, I saw the same look on your face that I had. I just want to know if something happened to you." I pause for a while. I never trusted Sally, but she seems so honest right now. This is a different side of Sally than I have ever seen.

"The night I came to see Lestrade by myself, I chose to walk home because I couldn't find a cab. I was pulled into a van that was following me and it was Moriarty." I took a deep breath, but I don't say the word because she already knows what I'm talking about. "It lasted four and a half hours. He dumped me onto the street afterwards. This child must be his."

Sally opened her mouth somewhat wide, but closed it and took both my hands.

"If you'll let me, I would love to help you in any way I can." I am about to respond when Sherlock opens the door.

"Sorry to interrupt this girl-talk, but I'm going to wait outside. Take as much time as you need." I nod and he closes the door. I turn back to Sally and she smiles.

"He's been helpful?"

"He's more human than you think he is." She smiles and nods and indicates that we should get up. I agree and thank her. We hug goodbye and I tell her that I will be in touch. I walk toward the entrance and see Lestrade waiting for me.

"Jane, can I talk to you?" Lestrade wants to talk too? Oh well, I guess another conversation couldn't hurt.

"Sure, what's going on?"

"Listen, I can't help but feel responsible for this."

"What do you mean?"

"If I had been pushier to give you a ride home, none of this would have happened." I simply smile at this. After everything, not once did it cross my mind that it was Lestrade's fault.

"I said I didn't want a ride home, it wasn't your fault. Don't worry about me, Lestrade. I'll be fine."

Sherlock is waiting for me right outside.

"What did Sally want?"

"Like you said, just a little girl talk."


	6. Journal Entry 2

_April 10__th__, 2012 – 16 weeks (4 months)_

I haven't told anyone about that night in a while. I've started getting flashbacks again; thankfully Sherlock was there like he always is. The stress of that night on top of Moriarty's warning was almost too much for me to handle. Sally has been helpful too, she has been calling and texting me at least once weekly. I didn't believe her at first, but she seems truly genuine. I told her I would keep her updated on the Moriarty case.

In other news, I had a really bad nightmare last night. I guess I had a lot on my mind. Everywhere I went I was seeing his face, down the street, in the mirror, everyone I passed by. I got a phone call and it was his voice, he told me that Sherlock was outside with him. The thought scared me, so I ran outside but I couldn't see anyone. It was like the entire street was empty. I turned to go back inside when I was grabbed from behind by someone I didn't see. I tried to scream but nothing was coming out. There was maniacal laughing behind me while I struggled to get free. I still couldn't scream and the person that grabbed me leaned forward and whispered something to me in a voice that was all too familiar.

"I'm coming for you." I finally managed to scream, but I wasn't on the street anymore. I was in my bed, I guess I woke up. I screamed so loud I woke Sherlock up. It wasn't long before he came running into my room. I don't remember much of what happened, so this is what he told me. He told me he had to hold me down by my shoulders because I wouldn't stop thrashing about. Mrs. Hudson ran in as well and almost called the police because she thought there was someone in the flat. Sherlock sent her away and said he could handle it. One thing I remember is finally snapping out of it when Sherlock screamed at me to look at him.

I explained to him what the dream was and he stayed with me the rest of the night. He climbed into the bed and laid down right next to me. I know I should have felt uncomfortable with that, but I just couldn't. He made me feel so calm, so safe. I really wish there was a possibility that this child could be his. Okay, I have a confession to make. After Sherlock got released from the hospital, I started having these nightmares. Sometimes, I would have flashbacks and he would have to calm me down. I mentioned this is a previous entry. One time though, I was crying a little less than usual. Sherlock was helping me like he usually does. We were both kneeling on the floor and he leaned in really close and whispered, "Forgive me." Next thing I knew…he was kissing me. I wanted to pull away, but I couldn't. In fact, I found myself responding.

I put my hands on the back of his neck. I don't quite know what I was thinking, because I know I don't feel the same way he does. In the moment it just felt right. He didn't take advantage of me; if I really wanted to push him away, I would have done it. Anyway, one thing led to another and…we…you know. I told him to…protect himself. I just don't remember if he did or not. It was in the heat of the moment, I don't even know if he owns anything like that. Once we woke up the next morning, I told him that we can't do anything like that again. This was what I was afraid of from the beginning; a relationship like this will only prove to be dangerous. This makes me nervous, because now I'm not sure if we were safe. I'm almost positive we were. Maybe when the child is born, I'll sneak to the doctor for a DNA test. If it's not Sherlock's, we know whose it is.

Scared to death,

Jane H. Watson

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><p><strong>Thank you to TessaMoMessa for giving me this idea. I think this story is taking on a whole new level. Still a lot more drama, so stay tuned!<strong>


	7. Thoughts Were Spinning

_June 14__th__, 2012 – 6 months_

The message from Scotland Yard was the only thing Moriarty left us with. Sherlock contacted Lestrade several times to see if he had any leads, but he always says he will contact us if he has anything. To be honest, I am getting bored with him. It's been over three months since we last heard anything. I know I should be stressed out, but now I'm just bored. I'm learning too much from Sherlock. He is currently standing by the window and I am in the kitchen. Damn, we're out of tea. Hopefully the café downstairs has a few boxes available.

"Sherlock, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"Just downstairs to get some tea, we're all out."

"Do you want me to go? It might be safer." His paranoia makes me laugh.

"I'll be fine; it's just down the stairs. I'll be back in 10 minutes. If it makes you feel better, you can watch me from the window to make sure I'm safe." I say, jokingly. He looks uneasy, but agrees and I exit.

I know he is going to watch me anyway, so I try my best to avoid looking up at the window. The café is lovely and luckily for me, they have just the kind of tea I like. I grab a box of Sherlock's favorite as well and leave. I am just about to grab the door handle when I feel a hand come over my mouth and something sharp on my throat. At the same time, a voice I do not recognize whispers in my ear.

"If you scream, you're dead." I can feel myself shaking. I can tell he is not joking, so I only nod my head. It's not like most people to do something like this in the middle of a busy London street, but it's pretty late.

Remember what I said about being bored? Forget about that. I guess Sherlock wasn't paranoid after all. I can hear the man behind me say something into an earpiece and he shoves me forward into the flat. Mrs. Hudson is not home, thankfully. He instructs me to walk up the stairs slowly. Hopefully Sherlock really was watching and has prepared himself. Even if he wasn't, he must have heard him behind me. I open the door and walk inside. The man grabs hold of me once again before coming in right after. Sherlock was watching, he has his gun trained on the man behind me.

"Let her go!" The man was not intimidated.

"Put the gun down, or she's dead."

"You killed that pregnant woman?"

"I was only acting under orders. You already know from whom."

"I'm not going to tell you again. Let her go."

"You're playing a dangerous game, Mr. Holmes. I can play too." He lowers the large knife to my abdomen. Sherlock is visibly shaken by this, but does not lower the gun. While they are distracted, I slowly slip my hand into my pocket and speed dial Sally's number. Hopefully she will get the hint. After a few seconds, I speak slightly louder so our voices can reach the phone.

"What do you expect to gain from this?"

"Shut up! My orders are to keep you two occupied before he gets here." We suddenly hear someone coming up the stairs. That can't be Sally already.

It wasn't. Moriarty walks into the room and looks calmly at the present situation before him.

"It's been a while, you two. How are you doing, dear Jane? You sure look wonderful." I flinch nervously and the man wraps his free arm around my throat, but keeps the knife slightly grazing my belly. When Moriarty walks toward me, I try to break free. I don't want to be near him! He is inches from my face and I am still struggling. He puts his hand on my cheek and I can feel tears starting to come down. "You haven't changed a bit, Jane. I mean-except for this, of course." He puts his hand on my abdomen briefly.

"Take your hands off of her!" Moriarty turns around almost instantly and smiles. Sherlock's gun is not trained on him.

"Oh! I do apologize, Sherlock. I almost forgot you were here. Since I have you attention though, I would advise you to put that down."

"No chance."

"Don't be so sure. The only reason he's not harming Jane right now is because I told him to wait for me. Now that I'm here, there's nothing stopping me from telling him to finish the job. This can be prevented if you put your gun down now. No promises."

Sherlock looks at me in the eyes. I can see so much fear in him, it's heartbreaking. I know what will happen if he lets this go on any further. I nod my head to indicate that he should listen to them. He understands this and lowers the gun. He drops it on the floor in front of him and puts his hands up.

"Don't hurt her."

"Why not, Sherlock? Aw, do you love her? Isn't that sweet?" The fear in Sherlock's eyes changes to anger. I've seen this look on him before, he is ready to kill. "Tell me, Sherlock. It's obvious that she doesn't love you back. How does that feel? How does it feel to know that the only woman you have ever loved rejects you?"

He is so angry he is shaking. This side of Sherlock is dangerous and I am more afraid of him right now than I am of Moriarty. He resumes his speech without letting Sherlock answer.

"Well, I guess I can't say she has always rejected you. Otherwise she wouldn't be ready to explode. I must say, I didn't know you had it in you." I chuckle slightly at this. I tried to be soft, but it was loud enough for Moriarty and Sherlock to hear. "What's so funny, Jane?"

"Jim, for a master criminal, you're an idiot." The look on his face didn't change.

"And why do you say that, my dear?"

"This child is yours!"

I cannot believe how white his face went. You would think he just saw an army of ghosts behind me. He went from calm to terrified in a split second. I never thought that he would so much as bat an eye at the thought of this. Any fraction of my being that thought he was a decent human being was diminished when he spoke up next.

"Kill her."

The man behind me immediately raised the knife. I close my eyes to prepare myself when I hear Sherlock scream.

"No!" Gunshot. The sound of a body falling, but my eyes are still closed. I open them in time to see Moriarty running towards me. He picks the knife up and charges at me. I run out of the way and Sherlock tackles him to the ground. His anger got the best of him.

He throws punch after punch into Moriarty's face. I feel someone pulling me. I look over to see Sally. I guess she understood my call. There is a gun in her hand; she must have used it on the man behind me. We stand together and watch Sherlock fight with Moriarty. Suddenly, Sherlock grabs the knife next to him and holds it against Moriarty's neck.

"You like to attack pregnant women? Well, let me tell you this, dear Jim, you are never going anywhere near her again! You beat, raped, and almost killed my best friend! You're a monster!" Moriarty smiles under Sherlock's grip. He reaches up and grabs Sherlock by the neck. Sherlock allows himself to be taken, for he is using that as an excuse. He takes the knife in his hand and drives it right in the middle of the criminal's chest. He gets up off the floor and looks around for me. Once he spots he, he runs over.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but Sherlock, you've just killed a man." He looks over at Moriarty's lifeless body and sighs. Sally speaks up.

"I saw the whole thing. I guess technically I can take you in for that." Sherlock frowns and nods. Although he is ready to face the consequences, Sally speaks up again.

"You know what? It was self-defense. I'll talk to Lestrade and make this whole thing go away. Don't worry about it, Sherlock."

He seemed taken aback by the fact that she called him by his first name, but he smiled and thanked her. She stayed with us for a few more hours while Lestrade and his men took away both bodies off the floor. He informed us that due to the circumstances, this would be ruled as self-defense. Lestrade offered a ride to the hospital to make sure the baby was okay, I declined at first, but the insistence of Sherlock and Sally convinced me otherwise. I accompanied the three of them to the police car and we drove off.

* * *

><p><strong>There's still gonna be drama for the birth of the child. She never gets a break. XD<strong>


	8. Holding On to What I Haven't Got

_September 15__th__, 2012 – (9 months) – Sherlock's POV_

The baby is coming any day now. We found out recently that it's going to be a girl, but she hasn't said a word about the adoption agency. In fact, I'm going to surprise her today with a bunch of supplies for the baby. I bought a crib, a high chair, and a lot of other supplies. They were delivered early this morning; I managed to put everything together before she woke up. That's surprising considering how loud I was, but she has been sleeping pretty late recently. Due to somewhat recent circumstances, that is pretty understandable. So far, the last few months have gone by without complications. I can hear Jane coming out of her bedroom, so I stand near the newly constructed crib. When she sees everything, she is caught off guard, but she smiles.

"What is all this?"

"It's an offer." I walk over to her and take both of her hands. "Jane, you know how I feel about you and maybe we can't be together, but that doesn't mean I can't be there for you every step of the way with this child. I think you and I should raise her."

There were tears in her eyes. The way she looked at me with those gorgeous brown eyes is something I'll never forget. She throws her arms around my shoulders and hugs me as hard as she can.

"Sherlock, I don't know what I would do without you. Of course we can raise her." God, I love this woman.

We discuss the future together for a few hours. There's something about all of this that just seems…right. After we're done talking, Jane speaks up.

"Did you get food for her?"

"Oh, I must have forgotten! I'll get some."

"I want to come with you."

"Do you think you should?"

"Of course, I'm going to have her any second. I want to be with you when that happens." I laugh and we exit. Once we're outside, I call a cab and allow Jane inside first. The store is a couple miles from the flat, so it shouldn't be that long. After a few blocks, the driver approaches a large intersection.

It's hard to remember what happened next, it was pretty fast. I remember waking up in the car, but all I could see was broken glass and flashing lights. I look to my left and see Jane, still unconscious. My instincts kicked in and I ripped my seatbelt off and tried to wake her up. I called her name over and over again, louder each time. I can see her starting to wake up.

"Sherlock?"

"Don't try to speak, just stay awake!" She has a gash on her forehead and she's coughing a lot. A paramedic comes to the broken window and shouts inside.

"Sir, you two are stuck in the car! We'll have to cut you out! If you hear any noise, it's just us." I nod and get back to keeping Jane awake.

I can hear the sound of the cab being sawn apart. Jane's side of the car gets ripped off and the paramedics carefully lift her onto the gurney. They try to get me onto a gurney too, but I exit the car and immediately follow Jane.

"Sir, we need to get you into an ambulance!"

"The only ambulance I'm going in is the one she is going in!" After a little more arguing, they allow me to go into her ambulance. When she sees me, she reaches for my hand. I take it without question and sit next to her.

"Sherlock, my water just broke." I don't quite know what to say, but I keep her hand in mine and stroke her hair.

"Just breathe, it will be okay." I look to the doctor treating her. "She needs to be put in the delivery room when we get to the hospital."

He nods his head and continues with the IVs. Another doctor tends to my cuts, but I never let go of her hand. After what feels like forever, we arrive at the hospital. I can hear the doctors screaming all round me to get her to a room. Jane is screaming as well, but for a different reason.

The doctors try to tell me to wait outside, but Jane screams at them that I'm not going anywhere. They give in and I stand right next to her bed. My head is spinning so much that I can barely hear what's going on. All I can focus on is getting Jane to look at me and telling her to breathe. All of this lasted an hour, but she finally comes out. The stress of the accident and the birth finally takes its toll on Jane and she passes out.

I ask the doctor if she is going to be okay and they assure me that she needs rest, but they will monitor her at all times. I wonder how she'll feel that I saw her baby first. When they cleaned her off, they asked me if I wanted to hold her. It would have been difficult for me to refuse such an offer.

She is so perfect. She's the spitting image of Jane. It's hard to believe she isn't crying, she is just looking at me with those perfect eyes. It's as if she is connected to me somehow. I hand her back over to the nurse and they tell me to wait outside. This time, I listen to them. I need to sit down anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't worry, things are going to slow down from here.<strong>


	9. This is Not the End

Olivia. That's what I decided to name her. Sherlock has been so helpful since the day this has all started. He made all the arrangements for when she came home with us and we couldn't be happier. Mrs. Hudson was ecstatic to see her, of course. She even offered to babysit while we were on cases. Though it may be a while before we start another case, I accepted her offer. Plus, I don't think Sherlock will be bored for a while.

As a matter of fact, I am currently waiting for the doctor's phone call. I told Sherlock that I was taking her for a check-up and I stole a piece of his hair for DNA. I waited a few weeks before taking her, that way we can get settled in. Sherlock loves her; he spends most of his day holding her. When I try to take her, he gets upset and tells me that he is trying to get her to be as clever as he is. Something tells me that will be hard for a newborn, but I appreciate the thought.

There is something about Olivia that reminds me of Sherlock though. Whenever I look at her eyes, I see the same sparkle that's in his. It makes me anticipate that phone call even more. I just need to know. Right now, Olivia is in her crib taking a nap. I've just finished putting her in and I'm so exhausted. Sherlock is in the kitchen looking in his microscope, when I walk in he looks up and smiles.

"How is she doing?"

"She's finally asleep. You know, I always thought people were exaggerating when they said that having a child wears you out. I owe them an apology."

"You'll get used to it. Everyone has to eventually."

"Thank you again for helping me. You've been an extraordinary help."

"I'll do whatever I can."

I wait a little while before speaking again. This time, I smile and Sherlock can tell something is up.

"So Sherlock, I invited your brother, Molly, Lestrade, and Sally to come see her."

"What? Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be? They're going to meet her eventually."

He simply shrugs. "What time should they get here?"

"Well, I told them around 3pm and it is 2:50pm. I guess they should get here any minute."

We wait for a few more minutes. Molly is the first to arrive. I take her coat and tell her to wait in the living room. I go and fetch Olivia and bring her in. Luckily for me, she was waking up from her nap. Molly loved her instantly.

"Oh, Jane, she's beautiful!"

"Thank you Molly. Sherlock thinks so too."

"Now that you mention it, she looks a bit like him."

Sherlock looks up at this. I brush it off.

"It's probably nothing."

After a little while, Lestrade and Sally arrive.

"Sorry we're late, we just came from work." Lestrade says. Sally goes right over to me and looks at Olivia.

"She's the spitting image of you." She says with a smile. I let Sally hold her and Lestrade laughs.

"She's not going to be anything like him, is she?" He points to Sherlock. He speaks up at this.

"I'm going to make her just as clever as I am, just you wait!"

Not much later, Mycroft arrived. He walks in with the usual look on his face, but smiles when he sees Olivia.

"I always wondered when I would become an uncle."

Sherlock shoots him a dirty look and the rest of the room looks at him, then at me. He speaks up quickly.

"Mycroft, the child is-"

"I was only fooling around, baby brother." Sherlock and everyone else resume what they are doing, but Mycroft looks at me and winks. I should have known I wouldn't have been able to hide anything from him.

Everyone stays for dinner and we spend the evening talking about work, Olivia, and just general small talk. Afterwards, Molly, Lestrade, and Sally leave.

"Sherlock, can you put Olivia to bed?"

"Of course." He takes her from my arms and proceeds to my bedroom.

Mycroft takes advantage of this opportunity and walks over to me.

"Jane, may I have a word?"

"Sure, Mycroft." I direct him into the kitchen to prevent Sherlock from listening, as I am almost certain I know where this conversation is going.

"So Jane, when are you expecting the phone call?"

I am slightly taken aback by this forwardness.

"How did you…you know what? I don't want to know." I can see Mycroft cracking a slight smile. "I'm expecting it any day now, just tell me this. How long have you known?"

"Long before Olivia was born. I simply have good self-restraint. The way he fawns over you is more consistent than usual and the discomfort in your eyes whenever we're all together is obvious. Due to the circumstances, I decided not to jump to any conclusions. I must say, I am quite proud of Sherlock. I never thought he even knew how to be intimate with a woman."

"Okay Mycroft, I think that's enough." I leave the kitchen and head toward the front door. Mycroft follows me and I hold the door open for him. "Thank you for coming, I'll keep you posted."

He gives me a serious look, but wordlessly exits the flat. Not very long after, Sherlock returns from my room.

"She's asleep; it didn't take her very long. Did Mycroft leave?"

"Yeah, he said goodbye."

The next day, I wait for Sherlock to get out of his room while I am in the living room playing with Olivia. She laughs at everything; I just love her ability to make me smile. When Sherlock finally comes out, he is fully dressed.

"Oh good, Sherlock, you're dressed!"

He stops in his tracks and gives me a suspicious look.

"Are we going somewhere?"

"You are, it's your turn to get the milk."

He chuckles at this.

"I thought so, I'll be right back." He makes his way toward the door, but stops once he gets there and turns back to me. "Jane, do you think I could…you know. Take her with me?" I smile at this request, but laugh slightly.

"Why do you want to take her?"

"I want to conduct an experiment. I'll need to with me."

"Uh…I'm not sure I want you experimenting with my newborn child."

"Don't worry; no harm will come to her."

"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt. I'll get her stroller." I hand Olivia over to him and get the stroller from the closet.

Upon reentering the living room, I can see Sherlock looking down on her with a look of absolute contentment. I'm not quite sure if he is serious about this experiment, or if he is just using that as an excuse to take her. Regardless, I'm glad he is.

"Here you go, you be careful with her."

"Stop worrying so much, I can handle her."

"It's not her I'm worried about." I say with a smile. Once he leaves, I look out the window and watch him walk all the way down the block.

After I decide he is far enough, I take out my mobile and dial the number for the doctor's office. I am tired of waiting. After a few rings, a woman answers the phone.

"Hello, my name is Jane Watson. I came in about a week ago for a paternity test for my daughter, but I only tested one man. I would just like to know if the results came in."

"Oh! Hello Dr. Watson! If you'll just hold for a few minutes, I'll talk to the doctor and if he's available, I'll put him on."

I thank her and wait for about five minutes. Once someone gets back on the line, it's the doctor.

"Hello Dr. Watson, how have you been?"

"Very well, thank you Doctor. Do you have the results?"

"I do, I apologize for the wait. It is just very busy around here."

"It's no trouble." I can see Sherlock in the distance, this time he is holding a shopping bag. "So what have you got?"

"Well, Jane, the DNA you provided was an exact match with your daughter's DNA. Whoever you tested is definitely the father."

I find it a bit hard to really control how much I want to jump up and scream right now, but I answer as calmly as I can.

"Thank you Doctor, if you want me to schedule a follow-up appointment, I'll have to call you back." My voice is noticeably different and the doctor knows that. I can almost feel him smiling on the other side of the phone.

"No problem Dr. Watson, have a great day."

I look out the window again to see where Sherlock is and he is just entering the door outside. Perfect timing!

I throw my mobile onto the table and wait for him to come up. There is no doubt in my mind about anything anymore. I can hear him coming up the stairs, slower than usual because of the stroller. My heart is pounding, but in a good way. The door opens and he can't help but notice the huge smile on my face.

I don't even give him a chance to say anything. I run over to him and leap up onto him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, my legs around his waist, and my lips against his. It lasts a few seconds and I didn't want it to end. Once I get down, he smiles, but looks nonetheless confused.

"I was only gone for a few minutes." I laugh and cry at the same time.

"Sherlock, she's yours!"

* * *

><p><strong>First off, I want to apologize. Somewhere, I really messed this story up and I just lost confidence in it, which is why I haven't updated it in a while. I will still finish it<strong>, **there will probably be one more chapter. Thanks to everyone who stuck around for this story and I'm sorry that it got kind of ridiculous.**


	10. Journal Entry 3

_Sometime later – Olivia is one year old._

She has just learned to walk. I just love watching her run around the flat. Sherlock had such a great reaction to the news. The first thing out of his mouth was, "I have a daughter?" Afterwards, he picked Olivia up out of the stroller and cradled her in his arms. He cried, but they were tears of so much joy. He tried his best to hide his tears and I'm sure that it's something, to this day, he'll deny.

We spread the news around fairly quickly. To list their reactions one by one: Mycroft was unsurprised, Molly was pleased, Lestrade had his suspicions, although I am not quite sure I believe him, Anderson was disgusted, Mrs. Hudson didn't believe us at first, and Sally was taken aback, but overall happy for us. I must say, I was worried about Sally's reaction, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I have to admit, I don't know how to explain my feelings right now. In the heat of the moment, we had one intimate night, and because of that both of our lives have changed. They've changed for the better, of course. However, I am happy with my relationship with Sherlock. I just hope my family will stay safe.

Tonight, we had a wonderful dinner. Sherlock cooked, but I use this term loosely. He did the best he could, so I appreciate the thought. Afterwards, we had a drink by the fireplace. It all sounds very cliché, but I thought it was romantic. Everything was my idea though; he didn't really know where to start.

In other news, I've decided to stop writing in this journal completely. I mean, let's face it; I have a daughter, a job, and a relationship. It's time to grow up. I will still keep it around just in case I want to read it, but I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon. I'm not sure who to thank for this, since I am the only one who reads this (Unless you're reading this Sherlock).

Goodbye for good,

Jane H. Watson

* * *

><p><strong>Once again, thank you to everyone who stuck through this. I have no plans to make a third one, so I hope that overall this was a decent story.<strong>


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